Rage that burns white hot, as the center of a star.

I have been stolen from, as have you. So much of what I love and desire and have been given has been stolen over the years. I have watched it and I have recognized it and yet I have been unable to do anything about it. If I were a carnal man and lived a carnal life, I would have taken up arms and reigned down horrible violence on the people that have stood between me and those things that are rightfully mine. But I am something else. I am not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms.

I believe that there is some sort of rule, some sort of "Law of Conservation of Anger" at work that is rooted in an eternal sense of Justice. If my wrath has not been spent on my enemy, where has it gone? Where has it been spent? Where has it been dissipated? Has someone else taken up that anger on my behalf? Perhaps. But I believe that my Enemy has turned my anger aside. He is clever and skilled. Where has my anger gone? Some of it has leaked through my defenses onto those I love. My family and friends have felt my fury to some extent, for certain. Most of that anger has been turned to other things. I have heard that depression is anger, turned inwards. We are a continent depressed. Even at my healthiest, I have realized that there is a weight of anger that I turn onto myself because I haven't had an obvious enemy before me. Yes, I have made decisions and made mistakes (though redemption shall cover all) but I have also been stolen from.

That righteous anger that is meant for my Adversary has been wickedly turned back on me. I have made war against myself. Through movies and Facebook and every sort of addiction I have made war and tried to bring about the destruction of the one that I have incorrectly held responsible for my failure to take a hold of everything that is rightfully mine. Myself. Surely I have responsibility but that is a different war from the one that I have been waging. Much could be accomplished, however, by taking action against the one who has come to steal and kill and destroy.

I no longer want to spend my anger ineffectually on games and magic tricks and self destruction. I want to harness my rage. I want it channeled and focused and and brought to bear upon those who bring injustice against myself and those that I love deeply. I want to stand. I want to shout and reign down judgement on the foe.

And in thy majesty ride prosperously because of truth and meekness [and] righteousness; and thy right hand shall teach thee terrible things. Psalm 45:4